time and space

i'm not sure what to say. i know what i want to say. but forming the words. putting them to paper or whatever you call this. the simple act of creating them out of more than just thought and air. committing them to reality.

do i feel i'll jinx it? do i think that by discussing it i'll make it worse? or i'll push everything over slightly in my rush to fit the words into this space. and then nothing will settle back into place.

i don't know.

i've been home for two days now. well, in this place i called home. it's different now. i suppose six months will do that to a place. six months alone will drive anyone a little mad i guess. boxing up our life. shuffling it all into cardboard containers. wiping the space clean. for the future reality of a move. a move somewhere.

or perhaps the act is symbolic? cleaning the space so the new us can figure each other out? a blank slate. or six months alone and you need to do something to keep from going completely mad.

i don't know.

we've been apart for six months.

i suppose if i give a little more time and space. we'll get used to each other. and it won't feel like i'm just visiting.

i hope.